Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Three Musketeers: d'Artagnan (2023) - for the haters of A. Dumas

Greetings, commies!

Anyone else disappointed in the latest Three Musketeers adaptation? One would have expected a more respectful, more faithful adaptation from the French. I walked away with a weird impression that the creators had a deep disdain for the source material, since they butchered up the plot so mercilessly. I guess they despise Dumas. Otherwise, why would they create subplots that serve no purpose? D'Artagnan is shot upon arrival in France for no apparent reason. He ends up crawling out of a shallow grave. You don't even realize it's him until later. Athos is a Protestant, with some brother named Benjamin (a very strange name for an early 17th century French noble). Athos is framed for stabbing a lady in bed and faces execution. Porthos is presented as bisexual. Constance wears what looks like a hijab. The Louvre is like a roadside diner with minimal security. Random people walk in and out. The whole country is filthy and covered in black ashes, evoking images of Chernobyl fallout. But the cherry on top was a mass shooting a-la Kennedy. I understand that American producers have to spread wokery. But these are French filmmakers. Why?