Thursday, December 24, 2020

Unintended: a coming of age "almost murder" mystery

Greetings, commies!

You know that feeling following the thump-crunch under your wheels? You know it's a squirrel. Its flattened corpse will haunt you on your drive home from work. Now imagine accidentally killing something human size? Now you can imagine how Lea felt when she killed her neighbor in Unintended. I must say, I really wanted to like that movie - if only it could figure out what genre it belonged to. 

My thoughts:

"Unintended" is basically an embryo that doesn't know what it wants to be when it develops. I am all for cross-genre movie, but this one can't decide if it's a thriller or a heart-warming, tear-jerking coming of age slice of Americana. It starts lowkey but sinister, and then just devolves into sappy. Too many images of Lea having an exaggerated panic attack. Too many pill-popping, hair-pulling scenes that do not add to the story. Not to mention, it's totally implausible from the criminal justice standpoint. No way can you just walk away from a potential manslaughter without the police involved. People don't just disappear into thin air without the authorities raising some questions. I can see someone hiding the impulsive murder of a newborn, but not a fully grown teenager that everyone knew in that community.

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Crush: a triumph of lazy casting


Greetings, commies!

I will be doing a series of reviews on unworthy films. They are free on Amazon, so I encourage you to give them a chance. Today's rotten turnip is Crush.


Crush is a 2013 American direct-to-video thriller film directed by Malik Bader and written by Sonny Mallhi. Starring Lucas Till, Crystal Reed, and Sarah Bolger, it follows a popular high school student portrayed by Till who finds himself being stalked.

My thoughts:

The casting director clearly did not want to take any chances or cast - God forbid - against stereotypes. Of course, the creepy girl is a skinny brunette. Of course, the object of her admiration is the "sensitive jock" with an actual conscience. The characters are not very plausible. I do not know many high school athletes who look like the male protagonist yet take the time out of their day to consider the feelings of the little people around him. In addition to being a star soccer player, he also loves old black and white movies and drawing portraits. I get it, even jocks have souls, and human beings have layers and dimensions, but this chap is so darn perfect, he is not very convincing. And I cannot imagine a straight 17 year old rejecting a hot female friend who sneaks into his bedroom with one intention. Too many cringeworthy, awkward character development twists. Paired with lazy predictable casting, and you get a C- product.